loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
