In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
worst night to have a conscience
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
