no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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