i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
did i walk over a car last night?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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