I cockslap morals
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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