i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
