LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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