There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
