i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
