I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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