how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
