She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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