the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The Olympian is in my bed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
