does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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