Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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