Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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