I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Barsexuality is the new black.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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