what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize