Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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