I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
