I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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