We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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