It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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