ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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