Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
