goodnight i made you a song goodbye
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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