so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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