Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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