dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
