i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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