Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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