i would punch a child for taco bell
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
