You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
