So drunk its hurt
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
this just has baby written all over it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
