It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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