take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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