Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
MIDGETS
????
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
