If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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