I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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