so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
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