I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize