what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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