i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
