cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
