He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
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I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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