How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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