Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
please come you make the beer taste better
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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