Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
