I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
