using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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