i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
