just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
