ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
