are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
