do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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