he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
