I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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