Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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