so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
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