i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
