so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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