I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
