I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
