sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize