Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
