their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
