evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
