drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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