I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.