She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
